You'll Learn About Yourself The Hard Way

We get frustrated with code that doesn't compile. We get angry with customers asking things back and forth. We get upset when upper management can't make up its mind. And we lash out on others when that happens.

Unfortunately, that's the way you'll learn about yourself. You'll learn to figure out when you get frustrated. You'll learn how you can keep getting attacked by others -- even micro-aggressions -- but, without realizing, at some point you'll suddenly burst into an counter-attack that may seem out of proportion.

The worst part of it all? Very few people will tell you what you're doing before it's too late -- you'll get in trouble way before you could actually understand what you were doing.

But, again, you'll get in trouble.

And you must learn about these events. Take the feedback as true, even if you don't agree with it. I had my falls, and I always took it as something I need to improve, even if later I said to my psychologist that I thought it was unfair and biased -- mostly 'cause I'm the quiet guy that always took the blows and never complained about, and people taking the flak from me were more vocal and friendlier to the higher-ups. But, again, I took it as true, and did my best to work on those problems.